Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Truth in humor

Just got this at work. Usually don't recycle jokes but this was far more polite than my own post would be on this topic. The only difference between this joke and something I would write? The punchline following the punchline would be, "And someone needs to kick a fencepost up her ass to knock her out of the race."

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President .

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.'

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Knows what she likes. And what she doesn't.

Jagosaurus accompanied me on the ride up to Occupied Virginia this morning. She also took control of the MP3 player, and it's functioning "skip" button. So it was 5-1/2 hours of driving and precious few songs heard in their entirety. As a matter of fact, after a few notes, it was pretty much one of these variations:

"Oh, hell, no."
"Fuck no." (This was usually directed at Barry Manilow.)
"I can't listen to that."
"No way in hell can I tolerate that."
"Oh, god, no." (This was reserved for any songs that had the audacity to be sung by a country music ARTIST.)

And, very rarely, "I love this song!"

She lasted an entire two hours before casually asking, "Hey, is there a way to adjust the treble and bass in this car?"